For 2022, International Women’s Day is focusing on #BreakTheBias. It’s clear over the past few decades we have made significant progress and we’re living in more of a gender equal world, yet there’s plenty of room for improvement and growth.
Today, I will be supporting the #BreakTheBias movement and celebrating a world free of bias, stereotypes and discrimination. A world that’s diverse, equitable, and inclusive.
International Women’s Day is also a perfect time to reflect on the past and present inspiring women in our own life. It’s also a great time to think about ourselves as women and what we have achieved and overcome, therefore, I thought today would be a great time for me to share my advice and top tips on ‘feeling a bit stuck at the moment’.
It’s a very common feeling that somehow everyone else is moving forward but you are stuck, sometimes it feels like they are succeeding at everything they do, and nothing works for you.
Maybe you’re feeling ‘Is there any point doing anything different when it never works anyway.’
Do you feel like the doors seem to swing open for other people and swing closed in your face?
Or maybe you are making progress but it’s achingly slow and you’re starting to doubt whether you’re on the right path at all.
Shouldn’t it be easier than this?
Don’t worry, it’s completely normal to feel like this. It’s not you.
Our brains are wired to constantly problem-solve, so all the time your mind will be assessing you and others around you and trying to work out for you what you should be doing. The little inner voice will be getting louder and trying to derail your efforts, particularly if you are doing things that are outside of your comfort zone, and therefore feel uncomfortable. It’s totally normal that it would try to compare you with others, but it’s unhelpful to do this. It’s probably too simple to just tell you to ignore the little voice, but it is useful I think to understand that your brain isn’t necessarily telling you to stop when it does these comparisons.
You may be on the right path and your mind is just risk-assessing all the time, like a little person in a high-vis jacket. It’s good to notice the voice, and then to look back over your goals and focus on your WHY. This means really getting clear in your mind why you are doing what you are doing. So, perhaps that might be that you are creating your own financial freedom for you and your family, perhaps you are building a better life for other people around you, whatever it might be. The key to this is to understand that it is bigger than just you. When you take yourself and your thoughts out of the way, and begin concentrating on your contribution and what you are bringing to others, this can shift the narrative, and give you the reason to keep going. You are different to other people and your journey is different too. Everyone of the women who inspire us start at very different points in their life and we all have different challenges to deal with along the way, different responsibilities, different resources, different lives.
We get very caught up in our thoughts as human beings, and it might be a fear that emerges when you feel stuck. You might be feeling fearful about the future, or afraid of taking action. It can be a fear of failure that is driving this, or a fear of success, but either way it’s just a fear.
If you really examine fears, what are they?
They are thoughts and feelings about the future. Thoughts and feelings that cause physical effects in our bodies, but they are still thoughts and feelings, which means that you can change them for other thoughts and feelings which are more helpful. You can give yourself a different story, a different narrative. The more you practise this, the better you get at it.
Fears over the future are fears about an imagined future, because the future hasn’t happened yet so it’s not actually real. Fears are anticipation about what might or might not happen. But you don’t know what will happen, so it’s really a waste of your time and energy to focus on this. Instead, focus on the present, take 5 breaths in and out and do one thing. Just one thing that will move you forward to your goal.
I absolutely love working with women to help discover the root cause of their fears and helping to eliminate negative thoughts and beliefs so they can live the life they imagine and deserve.
Top tips and hypno-hacks on getting motivated
1. Focus on your WHY. Take 5 mins to write down in your journal why you want to achieve this goal, what it means to you, and your family. Understanding the bigger picture stops you concentrating on the obstacles and tells your brain to give you the push to get it done.
2. Although you might be feeling scared of taking action, give yourself a better story. It’s a hypno-hack. Our minds respond to words and pictures, even if they aren’t true, so you can tell your mind a story that you are confident, super resilient and you can do anything. You don’t need to believe it, your amazing mind will let that command go in.
3. Breathing deeply tells your mind to relax your body. Two minutes of deep concentrated breathing will eliminate all anxiety and fears. Before you start the task, spend two minutes practising and you will super-oxygenate your blood and super-charge your motivation.
4. The 1%. Instead of getting overwhelmed and scared of the bigger goal which feels impossible, try Sir David Brailsford’s (Performance Director of British Cycling) approach to marginal gains, which is to pay attention to the little details and then trying to improve them by 1%, which then all adds up to incredible gold medal winning performances. In your life, what can you do just 1% better than you are now. Focus on the things that you can change and ignore the things you have no control over. You can find him talking about it on Stephen Bartlett’s podcast, The Diary of a CEO.
You are confident.
You are inspiring.
You are brave and resilient.
You can take on anything.
You are enough.
Spend a minute today reading these incredible and empowering International Women’s Day quotes.
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