Why do some people seem to have such incredible confidence and others shake at the mere thought of taking action in their lives?  It can seem like there are two types of people, and if you feel that you are not in the confident category, it can seem like you have a mountain to climb to achieve the things that other people simply breeze through.  So what is it that makes the difference?  Were they born that way and there is nothing that can be done about it?

It’s certainly true that some people are born with more confidence than others, that it is inbuilt into them to explore more, to push the boundaries more and to create more noise around themselves.  Some people from birth feel less fear or respond less to it. But this is not the end of the story by any means.  From the minute we are born, we are subject to influences all around us. Initially from our parents and family, then from other kids and school, from the outside world and everyone who ever interacts with us.

All the time we are taking the information from our interactions with others and internalising that data in our minds.  We then form thoughts and beliefs about ourselves.  And guess what?  Quite often we get it wrong.  We decide something about ourselves, like, ‘I’m not a confident person.’  We start to look for evidence to prove ourselves right about that belief, and of course, once you are looking for it, you find it everywhere.  From the checkout woman who talks over you, to the person who isnt listening when you give a talk. 

The belief is reinforced and you start to act like you’re not confident either. You tell yourself and other people, and all the while your mind is listening and acting on what it thinks you want it to do. “I’m not confident”, translates
into “I can’t do that”

 And guess what? You have a limiting belief holding you back from having your dream life.  And all the while it is wrong.

These beliefs get locked into your unconscious mind, and they are the basis upon which you are making decisions. It’s not until, in hypnosis, we can create a beautifully relaxed state of mind together and we go back and question some of the beliefs and thoughts which have caused this idea of lack of confidence. Then we can re-frame them into more helpful, more positive thoughts and beliefs. 

In the meantime, you can build your own unshakeable self- belief by, as Marisa Peer set out in her recent book, ‘Tell yourself a better Lie’, giving your mind better commands. Telling yourself a better lie, is a way of explaining that, since we are all giving ourselves incorrect messages anyway, and making meanings where there aren’t any meanings, we might as well give ourselves the best and most positive ones. 

Telling yourself things that you don’t necessarily believe or think is true, but will make a massive difference to your confidence and self -belief.  Start to give yourself the praise that you never had as a child or that you aren’t hearing now from others.  You will be amazed at what a difference it makes,  just to tell yourself every day. 

Self-Belief Top Tips and Hypno-hacks

1. Make yourself your own personal mantra to repeat to yourself every day. Try this, “ I am confident. I am resilient. I am brave. I love new adventures.  I can take on anything I want to. I am enough.  Say it to yourself as much as you can, and at least once a day.

2. Instead of trying to take on too much at the start, take a very small step outside your comfort zone. Call one person, write one email, do just one new thing. Your comfort zone will expand with you, and you will find that once you have taken one step, the next one becomes that much easier.

3. Look for someone else you admire who is doing what you want to do. Notice what they do, you could even reach out to them and ask them to give you advice.  They were where you are, once upon a time, and most people are very happy to give you guidance.

4. Ask a friend or family member to support you, just to be there for you to call if you get the wobbles and need a boost.  Having someone who will be your cheerleader, no matter what is a fabulous support. A quick call to boost you up is invaluable. You can offer to help them too with something that they are finding tricky.

5. Fake it until you make it.  If you act confident, your mind will command your body to come into line, and there is nothing wrong with pretending that you are feeling amazing, even if inside you are jelly.  People often can’t tell that you are feeling nervous, and the more that you practice being confident, acting confident and behaving as if you are confident, the more your mind will accept that this is who you now are.

You may have a limiting belief holding you back from having your dream life. You may not even know what is holding you back. I can help you discover this and resolve it to live the life you deserve. Book a free 1-1 discovery. all with me today.

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